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P: I am always talking with some voices and having hallucinations. Being aware of my mental disorder, I undertook psychiatric treatment. The psychiatrist prescribed haloperidol to me but it helped only partly. At first I lay flat on my back. The voices became lower but I couldn’t work. However I have to work as I am the only breadwinner in my family. Besides haloperidol had only a temporary effect - soon the voices returned. Now I am suffering from terrible headaches and pains in the heart. I am trying to control myself and not to show my state to others. I have had this state for a year and a half. I like homeopathy because it doesn’t prevent me from working.
D: Tell me more about the voices.
P: They tell me that I am a magician. I get very emotional and feel pain in the heart. I want to suppress these emotional outbursts.
D: What is the most unpleasant about this situation?
P: My emotional insecurity. One voice loves me, another hates me. They consider me to be a magician possessing an ability of extrasensory perception. Indeed, watching TV I can see movements of the speakers’ lips who talk only to me. Other people can’t hear them. It bothers me too much.
D: Describe the beginning of your disease to me.
P: I was staying in jail and suddenly began to hear voices. At first I thought that the prison authorities were making experiments on my brains and smoked a lot. I have heard these voices for a year and a half. They were away only when I was taking psychiatric medication but my physical state was very poor at that time. My wife tried to calm me down saying that people who are isolated from the outside world often have states of this kind. Some people even get isolated deliberately to develop extrasensory perception.
D: Tell me more about your state during imprisonment.
P: It was a terrible state. I felt extremely stressful. I was in jail for the first time in my life. I was very much worried about my wife. I indulged in fantasies. My future was uncertain. I was charged with a crime I had very little to do with. I was arrested because they had failed to catch my boss. He had gone abroad and the police managed to detain only me, an ordinary restorer but they were trying to put the whole blame on me. They are used to this practice, otherwise they would have to pay me some compensation. I realised that I would be convicted all the same and that would be unjust.
D. What was it like to feel unjustly convicted?
P: The prison authorities kept up silence in prison cells. I felt as if I lived in an unreal world like in an aquarium. My every step was kept an eye on. I felt helpless to do anything. They had many laws to convict me and I couldn’t do anything to change the situation. I couldn’t speak with anybody because all my talks became known to the prison authorities. It is a very constricted state when you are being constantly spied on. It was very hard on me. Besides it was very hot and stuffy in there. Lack of fresh air made things only worse.
D. What does it feel to be constantly spied on?
P. A very strong constriction. It was a problem even to go to the toilet. Constant silence. I spent half a year in solitary confinement and heard every step in the corridor. Then visual and sound hallucinations appeared. Somebody moved inside my eyes. Some action, some sort of communication took place inside my eye pupils and it was unpleasant. When I close my eyes, the communication is becoming more intense. I dislike my psychiatric disease because it affects my heart, mind and my organism on the whole. I dread dying from a heart failure or apoplectic stroke. My previous doctor said that my disease didn’t cure easily.
D. Tell me more about your constricted state.
P. I had nothing to do, I had to spend all day lying in bed. I was always being watched and overheard by the prison authorities.
D. What is constriction like?
P. I had to lie and dream of something. Before imprisonment I liked to read fantasy novels. The voices gave me a chance to communicate. I plunged into this fantastic World. There were a lot of very different personalities of various kind. This disease is typical of jail. One prisoner even cut his throat to stop the voices. I put up with the voices and tried to treat them in a kind way.
D. What was the most difficult for you?
P. I was exhausted by constant talks. I had to speak, to do something and very often I had emotional outbursts. The voices told me that I was a magician, a dragon having extrasensory perception. It is especially difficult when I am surrounded by people. The voices wanted me to exert influence on people and earn money by it. I refused because of lack of talent and desire. I want to get rid of them. I undertook allopathic treatment and felt like a zombie. I couldn’t work, I slept a lot. I used to read a lot and most of all loved Tolkien and other books of the kind.. In jail I received even water through a window. I tried to read in prison but my mind couldn’t bring things together.
D. What do you like in books by Tolkien and other fantasy novels?
P. I like a dynamic plot. It is interesting. I like to read about magic things. It can fill my time and prevent me from staying idle. I was always keen on beautiful and exquisite things, so I chose the job of a restorer. Some years ago I was keen on history because I found many various things in it. History was written differently by different authors and it is interesting for me. I’d like to understand all those various great events. There is nothing bad about my interests. The only bad thing is that I am ill and my heart is pricked.
D. When is your heart pricked?
P. My heart is pricked when I am emotionally strained. For example, when my wife is driving a car. She isn’t a good driver. There is always some risk of a crash and it can be the reason for my heart pain. The voices are very loud and I have to strain myself to bear them. These strangers can be near me and speak one with another. It is very emotional. I am tired of it. I want to get rid of them. How long can I bear them? It is very difficult to endure. The voices use me to exert influence on others. They promise me to realise all my dreams.
D. What is good about it?
P. Nothing good.
D. What is bad?
P. I can’t believe them. There are informational fields and the like. I don’t feel like going into them because it might develop a serious psychiatric disease. I don’t like experiments to be made on my mind, I don’t want to be a guinea-pig.
D. What might happen if you agreed?
P. I would have pain in my heart and head. If I agreed, I might find myself in hospital and stay in bed. In hospital I did nothing and spent all my time in bed. I had injections of very strong medicines. It was a question what state I would leave hospital in. I have already had a very heavy depression when I couldn’t get up, couldn’t work and earn money. My family had no means of sustenance. My wife had to find ways to get money. We were very poor.
D. What is the most terrible about poverty?
P. I lived in poverty in my childhood. Our meals were poor. We couldn’t travel. Please, tell me what can be good in poverty? Please, tell me, doctor! (the patient suddenly becomes very angry and repeats this phrase several times). Now I am used to living better.
D. What is the most difficult for you in poverty?
P. I don’t see a way out. Why is the Russian village abusing alcohol? These people know that their payment isn’t enough to buy a car, they can afford only very cheap cigarettes and home-made alcohol. A well-to-do person can travel anywhere and buy anything. (the patient makes gestures at this moment).
D. Is this topic very painful for you?
D. What is the most terrible?
P. I often come to my native town of Kurgan. I used to live there but I don’t feel like going back. I don’t see good prospects for me there. People can’t send their children to a good school, can’t have a good meal and economize on trifles.
D. What do good prospects mean to you?
P. I want to live a normal life and travel around Europe.
D. What is the opposite to having no good prospects?
P. It is a life when you watch every penny. I’ve had such a life. It was terrible, depressive. I took to drinking to remove the depression. Now I got out of this circle. I want to read interesting books, listen to music, go to the theatre. I want to live a normal life. I’ll never be a millionaire. My profession isn’t good for it.
D. What is the most terrible in poverty?
P. Absence of prospect. It is impossible to live like this. To watch every penny. My wife wants to give birth to a child. But we need money for it. This life is monotonous and boring.
D. What is a monotonous and boring life like?
P. It is a life without theatres, concerts, with no prospects or variety. No traveling, nothing. It is possible to live like this but I don’t want to have such sort of life. I am a restorer and work with paintings, expensive and interesting things. I am fond of this work.
D. Why are beautiful things interesting for you?
P. They are material and spiritual valuables. They are interesting for me.
D. What are your cravings and aversions in food?
P. I dislike tasteless food, for example, boiled eggs. I always want to make them more delicious by adding some seasoning to them.
Remedy given: Piper Methisticum 200, a single dose
Follow-up after two months (10. 12. 2004.)
According to the patient:
I am much better. The voices don’t disturb me. Sometimes I have tremours. I want to keep up my state at this level. I feel fine, I enjoy a good sleep and a good physical condition. I’d like to keep up my present state and improve it a little in order to prevent the return of my disease because I don’t want to be taken to hospital where patients can be suddenly attacked, strangled, murdered, etc. I don’t want people to think me insane.
D. What is the most unpleasant about insanity?
P. Now I am enjoying being a normal person. Our society treats insane people with aversion. Modern life is producing a lot of mentally disturbed people and many of them prefer not to turn to doctors to be examined because they are afraid of staying in a mental hospital. People are under strict control there and can’t even go to the toilet without being watched by a guard. I used to be treated like that but it is no good. I don’t want to be tied up, tormented, filled with injections. Medicines suppress a person, turn him in a zombie. After it people prefer lying and doing nothing for many days. I feel emotionally strained when I see such people.
D. What do you feel when you meet such people?
P. Ordinary people will avoid these people. Such a person wants to communicate but he is avoided. He get adjusted to his life in some way but he lives like in a cave. There are a lot of interesting things around him but he can’t enjoy them. His life is strange. I wouldn’t like to live this sort of life. They live in a microsocium where life is deficient. If our civilization were different, people’s attitude would be much more humane and Christian. Now we are living in a technocratic civilization. These people aren’t killed but treated very badly. In the past mentally sick people who used to live near churches were respected but now we can see that they are avoided. Nobody likes to communicate with them. Their food is poor and they can’t speak properly. Their bodies smell terrible of hospital and they want nothing. I am also trying to avoid such people. It is possible to get stuck in a mental hospital for many years, so I am very glad that I feel all right and can work.
D. What does work mean to you?
P. It is interesting, rewarding morally and financially. I began to collect stamps at 15. I had a very good collection, then I was keen on archaeology and read a lot. There are only several thousand specialists like me. My work is exclusive and interesting. I an very glad that Piper 200 decreased the voices and pain in my heart. I feel all right.
According to the patient’s wife: His voice has changed. He stopped talking in a boring and monotonous voice. He has become more lively and takes more interest in everything. He’s found an extra job and his payment is 3 times as much. He is planning to buy a new flat and a new car.
Prescribed: one more dose of Piper methysticum 200
He hasn’t come to my office after that. I learned from his relative in April 2006 that he has bought a new flat, works a lot and never complains of a psychiatric disease.